Why the fuck did I have a dream about Karl Pilkington funding a black womans’ journey to appear on America’s Got Talent and her talent was doing a hand stand and playing the national anthem on trumpet with her queefs?

I was in Japan for some foreign exchange program and only knew a bit of Japanese. I don’t remember which city I was stationed in but I knew it was a sea town. On the way home from school I found one of those manga anthology books. Basically like Shonen jump except heavy and full of one off stories. Most of them were in Japanese but two stories were about DND and had broken english in them.

The first story was about of team of dungeon explorers who get confronted by a dragoness. She captures one and teases him saying shes going to eat him but she wants to watch him struggle while she slowly consumes him. She asks one of her skeleton minions if they would prefer to watch her eat him slowly while licking his lewd parts all over or just get it over with. The last panel was just the captain shrugging saying “I don’t care”. 

The second story was about a halfing and a troll trying to rescue their friend. Apparently their friend was captured during his birthday by a bunch of raging kobolds. The two confronted the kobolds who were actually being nice to the captured after they learned it was his birthday but they were giving him petty things as gifts. Stuff like toenails and broken quills, little weird things they find in their caves. The two convince the kobolds to let him go and as they leave the leader shouts “SINCE OUR GUEST OF HONOR IS NO LONGER WITH US, THE ORGY IS CANCELLED. GET BACK TO WORK.”

I remember laughing while reading these and then I woke up before I got to the next story.

I had another episode like dream. It must have been a netflix original because of how much swearing was in it but I digress the entire dream felt like an episode besides the beginning which was basically me playing a game very similar to Monster Hunter stories. There was a raptor monster with Boxing Gloves i was trying to catch but on to the part I remember the most.

The setting is a community college. (Or high school?)  It’s a well established mostly black school where our main protagonist is transferring over being unable to finish in University. He has a particular literature class full of delinquents. Students that really don’t want to be there  and a professor who just doesn’t care about teaching. I remember seeing familiar faces in shows that our very similar to the setting and humor. Both Tyler James Williams and Marque Richardson (Both played roles in Dear White People the movie and the netflix show but Tyler is mostly known for Everybody hates Chris) and Donald Glover and Danny Pudi (Troy and Abed from Community LITERALLY make a cameo in the first “episode”.) The kids hate him for trying to learn and basically brand him a nerd. He becomes and outcast.

The protagonist may have dropped out of uni but he has a distinct interest in graduating where his colleagues are rude and ignorant and disrespectful to each other as well as their instructor. The protagonist keeps finding himself in the same group of people in everyone of his classes and he has to deal with their behavior. Eventually the protagonist stumbles across a math instructors scores for a test they took. He didn’t do so well but the scores showed that all of the students were ahead of him scoring from perfect to high As. He realizes that these kids are actually prety intelligent. He plots to bring this out but he ends up losing the scores after a student known for bumping into people intentionally knock the scores out of his hand and they end up lost.
The main characters in their literacy class where (for whatever reason) the topic is lord of the flies. No one wants to read it and the teacher doesn’t care. The protagonist hatches a plan. Her moves up to the front and starts smiling at a group of students chilling in class. This conversation is still fresh in my mind and I can almost quote it directly.

Student #1: The fuck are you smiling about?
Protagonist: Imagine you’re on a bus and I come up to you. I sit next to you and I’m just smiling and staring. What would you do?
Student #2: I’d ask what your problem was.
Protagonist: Exactly. You’d want to distance yourself from me. You might even tell me to fuck off right? Now imagine being with that same person deserted on an island. He keeps following you and there’s no where to go.
Student #1: Bruh if he don’t leave me alone I might start swinging know what I mean.
Protagonist: Now imagine you’re surrounded by these types of people. Not all do the same thing but they’re all weird in some way. You’re trying to survive dealing with a bunch of weirdos. You would most likely try to ally with the less weird ones right? You would end up fighting the ones that annoy you the most. Now imagine all of that except you’re all kids. That’s Lord of the Flies.

The students really like that description and start conversing about it. Some make arguments about the book which shows they’ve already read it and the students clamor together and for once have a session talking about the book accidentally.

The students praise the main character and one of them suggests that he look into being a teacher and that’s basically it.
It was so episodic. It’s amazing.

It’s been a while but today I woke up at 4 and had trouble falling asleep. When I finally did I had a bizaare dream

It was about the most amazingly dubbed anime ever. Basically it’s a wacky slice of life comedy about a student and his brother attending high school for the first time. Initially the girls in the class think he’s really cool. He has a offputting badboy disposition and he doesn’t do the first icebreakerish assignnment because “He didn’t care to do it.” Luckily his teacher is this sweet old man and just smiles and tells him to keep up next time.

It becomes abundantly clear that this student isn’t actually a bad boy, he’s just always distracted and kind of a spaz and once the class catches on he really shows that he’s actually really boastful and proud of his creativity and not at all sensitive to judgment. He’s a bit A.D.D and it shows through it’s exceptional animation and dialogue. But everything happens so fast paced that you can’t tell what’s real and what he’s imagining. Like I don’t remember specifics but the first “episode” kind of had this structure and they come from a few key moments that I do remember.

The start of the episode is about how he leaves his own apartment trying to get to school on time and realizes too late that he leaves without his clothes on
He immediately steals a hanging blanket and comes across some shady characters and extremely bizaare entities like ghosts or neighbors who look and act like zombies and really occult things. The voice acting is so diverse and wacky but everything still has a realistic voice.

He would be sitting in class while everyones talking about band practice and then he would go into a monologue about how he couldn’t stand how music was
structured and everything would start spinning and water would flood the classroom and a bunch of random shit would happen before he wakes up and realizes that the faculty didn’t notice him in the back of the class asleep and it was night time. He was stuck in his homeroom. He’d then start running home but become easily distracted with foreigners. I distinctly remember him trying to impress a hispanic soccer player (Who had the voice of a black man for some reason) by doing jump kicks
against a dispenser until the foreigner bought him the soda he was trying to dislodge. He then had a panic attack as a moonlit cloud in the sky looks
exactly like a skull and he’d run screaming into the night until he’s surrounded by other skeletons and everything goes black.

Now this is a part I remember clearly. After we cut to a scene of a 4 player Mario like game and he goes on about how he’s one of the characters in the game.
It’s clearly a parody where the main character is some everyday man with his party of weirdos. The kid then points out that he’s not actually one
of the players but instead one of the parodies of the yoshi dinosaurs they find and pick up to feed. He describes himself as being unmotivated and just doing and eating what people want him to do and how he’s easily replaceable and disposable and that he doesn’t really care because the world only focuses on him for a second before the world moves on leaving him in the dust to follow the true heroes. From this dialogue and delivery you could tell that despite being a spaz he’s actually extremely depressed. The rest of the dream was muddy and I just woke up from it.

It was just impressive because everything was cut so short that you didn’t really have time to see all the things that was going on and it was structured
to take place at different times each episode and focus on different characters and plotlines around the city depending on where he’d wonder to.

It was basically cut like Cromartie High, One Piece, Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei and Gintama on crack while at the same time having the artistic style of Assasination Classroom
during calm moments and more bizaare forms of animation like Mob Psycho 100 during the more random moments. Whereas the voice acting seemed just as quick as FLCL with a hint of improv from how the Ghost Stories dub feels. And I’m pretty sure watching

was a reason this popped into my head at all.

All I remember was I couldn’t stop laughing because the comedy and pacing was absolutely amazing and I began to wonder if this was an actual
anime that I had forgotten the name of.

I had a dream about a student who was obviously a self insert that basically had Ochako’s quirk but instead of just making things float his quirk was giving things physical velocity so what ever he touched he could basically force push, pull and lift so long as he could carry it normally. The dream was about him being in an academy where Eraserhead worked and he was basically a punk ass bitch that would pull pranks and get in trouble because unlike the current academy it didn’t take much to get in and he didn’t really care to be a hero. So he would sick dodgeballs on teachers and shit until he gets a warning of being expelled. 

He then aids in defeating some terrorist villains which really gets him inspired to help others. He doesn’t finish the course and just leaves before graduation. Years later he comes back and challenges All Might. Everyone assumes he’s a villain and he gets flustered screaming that he’s not. All Might tasks him with training with the kids in a bet that they can’t figure out his quirk in a series of one on one sparring. He’s great at misdirection and countering  and claims each classmate only gets one chance at attacking to figure out. He doesn’t use his quirk until fighting Midoriya who insists that he attacks first (before my OC had been on the defensive) Ochako found out what the quirk was by noticing his shoes were untied and he had been hitting the kids with his shoes and returning them to his feet while they recovered from the blow.  

I don’t remember much after that but it seriously felt like an actual episode and I have to wonder why I get semi episodic dreams like this.

Okay this dream was a doozy.

This one is slightly NSFWish but here goes.

The dream starts off (as far as I can remember) with Mae as if I’m playing Night In The Woods. Some dogboy challenges Mae to a fight in “DA PIT” and after discussing it with her mother decides to go. When she finally gets to the location her “theme song” plays whic h is a vocal song. I pause the game to google the ost and savge the song. But I’m in a public library. The guy next to me laughs at me for downloading mp3s. He says something as if to try to goad me into fighting him but instead I bring up an altnerative topic and we become friends. I leave the library to be confronted by these medieval gates. Sam and Frodo are there and supposedly I’m this bad ass ranger that is helping them on their quest. We walk past the gates we’re confronted with a single black knight and then another one behind us. Before we even get a chance to fight, the knights reveal that there’s an army on each side of them. It was a trap. We have no choice but to surrender. We’re captured and we see a series of bounties
being checked suggesting that the black knights were not working for Sauron but were instead mercenaries working for the highest bidder. Within the jail we’re with a bunch of lizardmen/women and the facility is being guarded by these dragonmen and snake ladies. Instead of using Frodo’s ring I bring out a stealth cloak much like the one in Harry Potter and suggests to a prisoner that I never use my real name. ( I forget why I think it had to do with me aavoiding ruining my reputation as a thief or something?)

I sneak out the prison cloaked and search for a way to free everyone. There’s three Snakeladies slitthering down the hall way. Being the disgusting furfaggot I am I decide to take the opportunity to go down on her while the other 2 are away. She doesn’t see me but is happy with the attention she’s getting nonetheless. Afterwards I find the switch to unlock the cages which prompts the lizardmen to rebel. The men eventually win and side with the dragons and the snakes. There’s a big feast and one of the generals wants to pay me for my service by granting me service. From out the back room there’s a few men holding down a kobold and hold it’s mouth open suggesting they’re going to force the Kobold to suck me off. This pisses the females off soo much that everyone starts fighting again. This time I leave them to their battle and ride on horseback with the same freed Kobold searching for a way back home when  a band of men on horses chase us into the forest. We assume they are hostile band avoid them but learn that they were actually directing us towards this party in the forest being hosted by this horse anthro who looks a bit like Celestia. And that’s all I remember.

I had a dream Hannibal Burress was doing standup/promotion for a documentary at my college and I missed half of it thinking it was in one room. The thing was it was supposed to be in a college room but he jokingly said he wanted a bigger venue and even when he insisted he was just joking, the school let him use the auditorium. So as opposed to being this contained class event, it became a college wide event.

I arrived late at the back  and people were already leaving when this really ghetto ignorant guy asked him “What was the documentary really about? I mean I watched it 3 or 4 times but could you give me like a 30 second like summary I mean I get you but I didn’t understand you know” to which Hannibal replied with “Uh…” and then ran off stage into the already leaving crowd. I’m usually nervous around celebrities but he was about to pass me and I felt I had to say something so I said “Hey man. At least he didn’t say OH SHIT NIGGA You had a documentary? “ Hannibal just laughed and told me I shouldn’t joke about fellow black people cause he saw me coming late. We just talked about how it was such a bad last question and about his career and how I was coming along in school and he was a really cool guy. Told him it was a pleasure to meet him and he said likewise.

Everything else was a blur but I feel like hanging with Hannibal would be really great.

I had a very cinematic dream last night. I was watching a movie called “B-reel” which was basically a Disney Zootopia anthro styled movie but took place in a different universe and had obvious differences such as mice being about knee height but rats being as tall as everyone else.

So B-Reel starts with this bright eyed rabbit wants to travel west to Hollywood not to become a star but rather a director. She meets up with this sleazy rat who takes care of a lot of the behind the scenes things in the studio and he tries his darndest to get her the position she desires. His main thing is that he hated being called a Rat despite some shady things about him. One being a dead possum in his trunk of his car to when people point it out he replies “He’s not dead…he’s an asshole. He’s been slouching for weeks (which we learn way later that he’s actually telling the truth)

After that there are a bunch of car chases, studio sabotage etc which leads our heroes to the end of their rope stopping a critique from a devious poor review. It was great.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

Last night I dreamt that I was unemployed and my mother forced me to sign up to work at my old middle school and my uncle was also there but he took his job seriously and I was just acting so cynical to little kids telling them stuff like school is pointless and shit like that just to get my mother annoyed since she’s an actual teacher.

It was really funny. There was also a cute robot who was perfectly sentient and showed me all of the old cringey videos of when I went to school there

Also before that I went back in time and found out Xzhibit was one of my classmates and I didn’t even realize it

klondork:

I just wrote everything I could remember in Wordpad. These look like the ramblings of a mad man but granted i just woke up 5 minutes ago in desperate attempt to remember everything. 

With these notes I’m gonna try to piece together what it was. The dream before the pony dream was interesting but not as Bizzare.

Okay. So.We were getting ready to watch MLPFIM Season 7. I remember being excited for this despite not knowing who “we were” yet. The opening looked completely different.There were kiddy Scorpan characters with long bodies floating around and I remember this because I screamed ITS SCORPAN. The characters in the show looked like G3.5
but even worse. They had pencil thin lineart and just looked girly in general. Also the show opened with only the new opening and the television was immediately turned off.

I turned to someone and asked if what I was seeing was real and that this was actually the new FIM opening and I didn’t connect it at first, but the person I was talking to looked like a pony from within the show. Everyone did. This human was talking down to us while trying to be cheerful. He looked like an even cartoonier version of carlos. He was talking to us like we were children (and we were but I didn’t realize it yet) and I was making a bunch of sarcastic remarks. He mentioned something about counting to 5 three times which is like 40 and we laughed saying the answer was 15. We asked if we could watch the show and he turned the television back on.
The first shot was of fluttershy creeping into the shot poorly animated in flash.She didn’t look anything like Fluttershy but somehow it was obvious. She had a blue shirt, a not torn sun at and was mostly green. I forgot what color her mane was but I know it wasn’t styled like hers normally is. Someone turned off the television and pieced together that we were ponies in a preschool and what we were seeing was what ponies normally see. After this we tried to figure out who was who. No one could remember. This taller gruffy like pony came in and was laughing at us.

His voice was so clearly John De Lancie and it was concluded that this was Discord. He laughed at Twilight calling her by her name and then apologizing saying her name was now “Storm”(Something). The pony that turned off the television found out he was Spike, a dragon, and could prove it by inking his tail (???). But it didn’t work and everyone laughed at him. He must have been close because the tall pony kidnapped him and put him in a cart and flew away. A few of us ran after him and it was becoming clearer and clearer
that these few brave souls were actually the main six. Discord tried to push us off but Rarity teleported back into the cart and remembered that she was “first in show”.  I forgot to mention that these new characters kept their voices which is why it was obvious (to me) who they originally were. Rarity was Pink and I think she had orange or yellow hair but again it was styled completely differently so without her talking it wasn’t obvious who she was. Pinkie fell off and she was blue and was desperately trying to remember her talent. She had a big red apple as a cutie mark and was the only cutie mark I noticed. After this I was trying to remember every detail to write down later and then I woke up.