Mom: Some 4th grader showed some other boys a sex video on his phone when they went to the bathroom like can you believe this happened?

Me internally:  MY BUM IS ON YOUR LIPS, MY BUM IS ON YOUR LIPS. AND IF I’M LUCKY YOU MIGHT JUST GIVE IT A LITTLE KISS. AND THAT’S THE MESSAGE WE DELIVER TO LITTLE KIDS AND EXPECT THEM NOT TO KNOW WHAT A WOMANS CLITORIS IS OF COURSE THEY’RE GONNA KNOW WHAT INTERCOURSE IS BY THE TIME THEY HIT 4TH GRADE THEY GOT THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL DON’T THEY?!

Me: Yeah that’s crazy.