Vurnels D&D Guide to Sleeping. I have to say this now because if I don’t I’ll forget it later. This is an extremely weird dream about a british show I was watching and eventually became a part of. But it didn’t start out this way.

Earlier in the dream I was playing a video game set heavily in D&D medieval fantasy. It’s style was hard anime a style simular to Sengoku Rance (A game I’ve never played) but it’s game play was more akin to Dragon Age (A game I’ve only played a little bit of) where you’d give commands to units in real time while fighting in third person. It was EXTREMELY hard and character deaths were permanent. Even the main character dying meant the protagonist would change. At one point I was fighting a boss character trying my best not to die by using all of my potion items and at another time I was directing a bird man to focus on a single target and leading the enemy into an ambush. I specifically remember saying “Okay I’m KEEPING you in the party” an naming the bird man Hatchet. Later in the game I found a tiny witch who would offer strange services for tons of gold. Things like turning you into a chair so a member of your party could relax on you. I picked a rat guy becauase I was curious to see if there was actually dialogue for a background character and there was. It was  like a weird way of social linking with your party members except the game warns you that in exchange for the money, your member would respect you less. The game “ended” as we arrived in the tavern.

The art style had completely shifted but in a dream you kind of just follow along like it was always this way and I was following the story of two british heroes who were bad at there job. They leave the tavern and they’re confronted with a teasing rogue who threatens to back stab one of the members just for fun but is “obviously joking.” I say obviously because after some talking the rogue decides to stab one of them anyway. This was essentially game over as the story shifted yet again.

This is where Vurnels D&D Guide to Sleeping comes into play. This was a show done only using grotesque puppets that looked like a cross between Jim Hensons work and that Genesis Music Video. The point of the show was it was an Anthology series explaining how not to traverse the dark fantasy world and how to succesfully live day and day. And it was DARK the show is full of murder, traps and poison as you would expect in a D&D game except this was ALL AROUND. Characters couldn’t go a second without trying to avoid a trap, having to deal with an encounter, etc. One story was about some gremlins (Basically level 1 goblins and kobolds) trying to get from one end of a forest to another. Out of the hundreds of them that tried to get to a tavern only 4 of them survived the rest dying in grotesque ways. The final party celebrated their level 2 advancement becoming “True heroes”.

Now the next part I remember vividly because I remember how frighten I was. In the tavern, I the watcher was being adressed by some old lady. I looked to my hands and learned that I was in the show this time and I was horrified seeing how easy it was to die in this world. But things started going weird as I learned I had the uncanny abillity to change things as they were happening. There was one point where a bunch of shady figures came in and I was so afraid of them I subconciously caused them to disappear. One of the patrons picked up on this and deduced that I was using some kind of strange magic to warp them outside of the tavern. He must have mentioned a way to find out about my uncontrolled abillity as I immediately left with the help of a ratfolk who was constantly trying to me in the back to test something. His theory was correct as I looked into my equipment menu (Yes this was a game again. Now a kind of dark fantasy sidescroller/rpg) and notice that I was equipped with an inremovable armor called “Plot armor” that was invulnerable to all sorts of attacks except a specific bow the rat was using. It had a 95% chance to dodge it’s attacks. What we deduced was every time I was hit by an attack I would lose a bit of invulnerability and then I woke up.

I frantically searched google for this name because it HAD to be a thing, right? It doesn’t exist and now I’m kind of think I’m losing my mind.