yourplayersaidwhat:

Context: Two members of our party include my character, a lawful good human “wizard” that is, unbeknownst to him and the party, a draconic bloodline sorcerer, and a chaotic neutral lizardfolk cleric. My character was leaning out of a window and spent a turn trying to stop a thief with his magic. Then it was the lizardfolk player’s turn.

Lizardfolk: (OOC): I wanna cast Sacred Flame on the thief.

DM: Well, [Human] is still leaning out of the window.

Lizardfolk (OOC): I push him out of the way!

DM: Uh, ok, roll a strength check.

Lizardfolk (OOC): 19 total!

DM: Ok, you shove him into a dresser, breaking it. Papers fly everywhere.

Human: Why would you do that?! Now we have to clean this up, too!

Lizardfolk (Because this character’s kind of racist): Well, if you had scales, maybe you wouldn’t get hurt.

Human (OOC): (Dying of ironic laughter)

Human (Completely honest): If only I did…