Context: A chaotic evil rogue and a chaotic good warlock (me) are looting an area we just cleared.

DM: Roll investigation on the statue.
Me: Nat 20!
DM: Oh-okay. Uhh, what weapon do you use?
Me: Well I had a quarterstaff until you stole it! *Glares at Rogue*
Rogue: *Smiles innocently*
DM: Well, ok then, you get a quarterstaff +2.
Rogue: I’m going to steal that too.
Me: No you fu-
Rogue: Nat 20!
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!