klondork

TEXT

Tuesday, 07 July 2015

buckmerogers:
Written by someone from Britain.
1. Bloody - Damn. Socially acceptable to use, some of my teachers use it, and my gran does too. You can’t use this enough.
2. Arse - ass but more derogatory. You wouldn’t say this to your grandparents, generally. Parents, it depends who you are.
3. Fiver - £5. Everyone says this all the time.
4. Tenner - £10. Ditto fiver.
5. Quid - £1. Ditto tenner.
6. Grand - £1000. Obviously lesser said than fiver unless you’re Ed Sheeran or someone but people normally say this.
7. Chav - i think Americans call them townies??
8. Mum - do i need to explain? and no, we don’t say Dud.
9. Nappy - Diaper.
10. Lift - Elevator
11. Pavement - Sidewalk.
12. Cock-up - fuck up.
13. Cakehole - mouth. IE: Shut your cakehole!
14. Bloke - Man. Most people say this.
15. Knackered - tired. “I’m off to bed, me, i’m knackered.” the K is silent.
16. Pear-shaped - gone wrong. “It’s all gone a bit pear-shaped.”
17. ay-up - greeting used in the Midlands/North. sometimes used at the start of a statement or question. “Ay-up, what you doing with that?”
18. Local - nearby pub. “I’m off for a drink at the local.”
19. Fit - hot. “He’s fit, him.”
20. Bollocks - balls. Sometimes used as an exclamation, like “Shit!”
21. this is important. Fanny - vagina. FANNY DOES NOT MEAN BUTT IN ENGLAND. IF YOU CALL SOMEONE A FANNY TO SOMEONE IN THE STREET YOU MAY GET PUNCHED
22. Shag - screw. Shag is less derogatory than screw.
23. Uni - short for university. Is that your college?
24. Sixth form - Junior and Senior year at high school.
25. Secondary school - 6th grade to Sophomore year.
26. Year 10 - Freshman. Year 9 - Eighth Grade and so on.
27. Reception - Preschool.
28. Telly - television.
29. Chips - Fries.
30. Crisps - Chips.
31. Full Stop - Period. The punctuation kind.
32. Bugger - i don’t really know what this translates to. You’d say “oh bugger i’ve lost my keys.”
33. Crap - Less derogatory form of Shit.
34. Wanker - technically, this means someone who jerks off, but it’s used as an insult.
35. Dickhead - another insult.
36. Twat - Some people use this as an insult, but, as I discovered a while ago, it also means vagina.
37. Cunt - vagina. DO NOT INCLUDE THIS WORD IN ANY WRITING, IT’S THE MOST OFFENSIVE WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.
38. Autumn - Fall
39. Biscuit - cookie.
40. Bonnet (a car bonnet) - hood.
41. Boot (of a car) - Trunk
42. Flannel - washcloth
43. Scouser - someone from Liverpool
44. Manc - someone from Manchester
45. Geordie - Someone from Newcastle
46. Brummie - someone from Birmingham
47. Dodgy - suspicious/not quite right. “Ooh, he looks a bit dodgy/My pen’s being dodgy!”
48. Tad - A bit. “Are you cold?” “Just a tad.”
49. Ta - thank you. Used up north a lot.
50. Absobloodylutely - a very enthusiastic yes.
51. Fortnight - two weeks.
52. Gutted - Devastated
53. Chuffed - proud, happy of something someone’s done for you.
Cheeky Nandos: something you’ll never understand until you’ve been accepted into the brohood by the archbishop of banterbury and gone a night on the wazz.