I was sent away on a missionary trip which should already be a red flag since I’m not religious at all. But I borrow my mothers car and drive there almost getting into 2 accidents because I was speeding. When I got to the location I was in this poor jungle village full of sick people.I met up with this doctor trying to find out what was going on. He explained to me that there was an epidemic going around caused by a virus that originated from a team of scientists trying to give animals superhuman powers.
Apparently this was the sight where the goat was slaughtered in Jurassic Park 1 and this was an event that was leaked to the internet. Ever since then the interest of seeing strange different things has grew so they started making animals with powers. The three types I remember were pigs with boxing gloves for heads, ostriches that could shoot bullets and extremely tough alligators. Well the scientists would kidnap the sick villagers and pit them in battles of 5 v 5 against these monsters and stream them to the audience. I had to get with a bunch of team members to shut down the operation basically shutting down this worlds version of a MOBA.
Also for some reason I was Soldier 76 teaming up with some other League champions. We succeeded but at the end of the movie I was watching (Yeah apparently this was a movie in theatres I was sitting in on) a sequel was hinted as Jinx, Kayn and The Joker plotted to use the idea of these killing games to get back at the heroes.
Okay buckle up for this one because this was a weird one. I was watching this movie called Burn Notice. And no I had to look up to make sure it didn’t exist. Its not based on the show. Burn notice was a story about two best friends played by Tim and Eric (Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim) who are forced out of their homes due to being unable to pay for their deceased mothers’ house. Despite the irony of them being in the exact same situation they land a job at a thrift store and hatch a plan to hide and live there until they get better lives. Unknown to them, the thrift store is a humongous labrynth in which our heroes find theirselves trapped.
After stumbling through aisles and rooms of old furniture and clothing they come across some strange character including the only one I can remember, a kind of manic news reporter played by Daniel Radcliffe who is also lost. Dan is played up as a joke as he eventually escapes the labrynth, sets up his own radio station from home and is continually seen throughout the movie reporting on the events outside the thrift store. Tim and Eric eventually escape the labrynth surviving purely on snacks and changing into whatever clothes they can find. They just so happen to bump into two men with the exact same clothes they were wearing and are mistaken for two russian mob bosses after the men ran off. The two friends came into a deal of a life time as they just so happened to be in the location of a drop for millions of dollars. The actual mob bosses were presumed to be dead. Meanwhile it turns out the two friends were stuck in the labrynth for about a decade and a half.
Radcliffes character reports that the world has been integrated basically making the entire world a big America. Shared cultures, customs etc throughout the whole world instead of one country. This essentially throws the world into chaos somehow and anarchy runs supreme. After living the good life for about 2 years, Tim and Eric decide that the items they found in the thrift store were the keys to a satisfying life and decide to sneak back in. The employers however tell them that because they were stuck for so long to promise them to never let them return. Tim and Eric manage to get in anyway. But this time the labrynth is being guarded by a giant yellow snake. Eric manages to team up with…I shit you not … Mara Wilson (Famously known for playing Matilda). Eric manages to convince Mara to seduce the snake while he makes his get away. He escapes the thrift store labrynth barely and refuses to return or even look for Tim. Daniel Radclife makes another report to the audience. This time from his street corner as his house had been destroyed. Reporting that the world fell into poverty. Tim meets up with Eric and decide its best to share the knowledge of the labrynth of infinite products (Thats what its called I just remembered) Thus saving the world.
Like… What?
Like I admit I’m feeling a bit sick to my stomach after that one. I have the biggest headache and I’m just confused. I’m starting to worry that there might be something wrong with me.
if you guys look it up there’s pictures of them like wrestling and hanging out and just generally being good ol boys who love each other and it’s really cute
this just in: romaine lettuce carries the e. coli virus and you will Fuckign DIE!
The health alert spans across the following states as a precaution: California, Wisconsin, Michigan, Ohio, Maryland, Illinois, New York, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut and New Jersey.
Throw it out.
is this a new alert or the one from like a year and a half ago?
